Following Nigel De Jong's most recent horrific tackle, Netherlands manager Bert van Marwijk dropped him from the squad as punishment for the challenge that broke Hatem Ben Arfa's leg. Van Marwijk also told the press that he speak to De Jong about the way he "needlessly looks to push the limit" so often. The following is a transcript of what we imagine was said during that conversation.
De Jong: Hello?
Van Marwijk: Nigel, it's Bert. How are you doing?
De Jong: I'm OK, I guess. Just frustrated with what everyone's saying about me. [Someone screams]
Van Marwijk: What was that?!
De Jong: I don't know! I was paying for my sandwich and all of the sudden the clerk is on the ground and bleeding from his head!
Van Marwijk: Oh God! Call a medic! How did that happen?!
De Jong: I honestly don't know. I just barely kicked him in the face.
Van Marwijk: Why did you kick the clerk in his face, Nigel?!
De Jong: Oh, great. He's bleeding all over my new shoes. I got them for free, but still...
Van Marwijk: Is anyone helping the clerk?!
De Jong: Yeah, some old lady is wrapping her scarf around his head. I don't think that's going to help, lady.
Van Marwijk: Why do you keep doing these things, Nigel?
De Jong: Hey, lady, that's not my fault. I'm not that kind of shopper. Ask Roberto Mancini.
Van Marwijk: Nigel, you must get control of yourself.
De Jong: Wonderful. Now the old lady is unconscious.
Van Marwijk: And how did that happen?!
De Jong: How should I know? I just tapped her with a flying elbow to the neck and she was out.
Van Marwijk: Nigel, you're out of control! I will not have you in my team until you sort yourself out.
De Jong: Ow!
Van Marwijk: What?!
De Jong: Ow! My leg bone is showing! Ow, it really hurts!
Van Marwijk: What? How did you do that?!
De Jong: Again, I really don't know. I just got bored talking to you so I tackled myself as practice and now my leg bone is showing. It was a clean challenge, I swear. Wow, that hurts more than I thought it would.
Van Marwijk: Nigel, you need help. Serious, professional help.
De Jong: I have no idea what you're talking about. But I do need a new sandwich. There's blood on this one and I'm not sure if it's mine or not.
[Van Marwijk hangs up.]
Photo: Getty Images
Related: DT Exclusive
No comments:
Post a Comment